The Post Chronicle
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Tittle-Tattle Blue™
Published: Sep 4, 2007
WWE Vince McMahon-Update on Mr. McMahon's Bas*ard Son & Family Feud
by Gia Cortina


Tonight on WWE Raw we all sat patiently waiting for news on Vince McMahon's bas*ard son and the McMahon family feud, we were promised!

At the end of the night, we weren't disappointed, as the first to come strutting out into the ring was Mr. McMahon, accompanied by Coach and two of his lawyers.

Vince referred to himself as the patriarch of his family and that everyone is after his money.  He told everyone that when his family walked out, they would each have their hands open, looking for a handout.

With that, Linda walked out to the ring.  Although Vince thought about lifting the ropes for Linda, he thought twice and left that honor for Coach, which was probably a good idea!

Vince asked Linda how she expected to get her cut of the money without an attorney being with her.  Linda then reminded Vince that she is the CEO of WWE and that she has plenty of money, telling him she didn't need his money, which seemed to please Vince, for a moment, that is.

Then Linda reminded Vince that because of all the women that Coach paraded out, claiming to be Vince's former mistresses, she could take him to court right now and take everything he's got!

Vince then went into his usual song and dance about how Linda doesn't understand the lonely days and nights he has endured on the road, while building the company to what it is today.

With that, enter Stephanie ... and Vince told everyone that Stephanie is the volatile on in the family.  Stephanie was stunned!  Then Vince reminded Stephanie that although they've had their differences, they have also had wonderful times together, stating that she always has been and always will be "Daddy's Girl".

Very sentimentally, Vince told Steph that he had put a video together of their cherished moments ... from Stephanie entering kindergarten to graduating college.  Sounds sweet, but read on ...

When the video was shown, the footage from the I Quit Match they had in 2003 was shown, with Vince choking out Stephanie while poor Linda watched.  When Linda finally got into the ring, Vince laid one on Linda also, as the footage ends, both Stephanie and Linda are laying on the mat!

Coach chimed in and said that someone must have sabotaged the video, while Vince told him that he [Coach] was responsible!

Suddenly, Triple H showed up on the Titantron, trying to look innocent.  He said he had nothing to do with it.  He then said hi to Stephanie, who smiled.

Stephanie then got on to business and said that it didn't matter what the video showed.  Stephanie told Vince that he was sick and needed help.  In fact, Steph told Vince that he was sicker than he was two weeks ago, when she had previously been at Raw.  Stephanie told Vince that he should step down as Chairman of the Board.

Enter Shane.  Vince asked Shane if he thought that he should be penniless and/or step down as Chairman of WWE, as he glared at Linda and Stephanie.  Shane said he didn't know which Vince he was talking to, so he wasn't sure.  Shane asked if he was talking to the death-faking, egomaniacal lunatic or the pioneering father?

Shane told Vince that it's one thing to embarrass the whole family, but if he really wants to change, it's about the McMahon family legacy from his grandfather to his grandkids.  Shane went with Stephanie and told his father that he's sick and that he needs to work out his issues.  If Vince could do that, he was sure everything would be okay, adding, "after all, I always wanted a brother."  With that Stephanie gave Shane a look of ice!

Vince agreed and thought he could change and then made a confession that all of the affairs he told Coach about were a bunch of lies that he made up to boost his own ego.  Vince said that the truth was that he had only been unfaithful to Linda once in his life ... and the one time that he cheated, he produced a bas*ard son.  The audience laughed and Linda rolled her eyes!

Now Vince said he felt the need to humble himself before Linda.  Vince dropped down to one knee and vowed, looking at Shane and Stephanie, to be a better father ... and then at Linda, vowing to be a better husband.

Enter Mr. Kennedy who walked into the ring, while shaking his head.  Mr. Kennedy told Vince that everything happens for a reason, and that it's not a coincidence that they share a name [Vince's middle name is Kennedy - the same as Mr. Kennedy's last name], or that Vince had demanded to know who his son is next week, at Mr. Kennedy's hometown of Green Bay.  Mr. Kennedy then announced that he was Vince's son!

Stephanie jumped in and said that Kennedy might be a bas*ard, but he's not Vince's bas*ard!  Kennedy told Stephanie, "sis, back off," and continued to fuel Vince's ego by telling him to be more outrageous and over the top.  In fact, Kennedy said that if Vince hadn't been the egomaniacal lunatic, he wouldn't have become the greatest WWE superstar in history, due to Vince's inspiration, of course.  Kennedy told Vince that he was the son who cares and wouldn't judge Vince.  Kennedy then repeated his name and Vince smiled warmly before hugging him.  However, the loving moment was about to end.

An unidentified man, who said that he represented the woman who gave birth to Vince's illegitimate son, came out.  He said that he had the DNA results back from the WWE Superstars and Mr. Kennedy is not Vince's son!  Vince demanded to know who it was, and the man said that the name would be revealed next week, according to his client's wishes.  With boos from audience, the man said he would provide a clue ... and the clue is ... "Things are looking up!"  And that was it!

I guess we'll all have to watch next week to see who the bas*ard son is!  I have a guess, but I'm probably wrong!  My guess is that it's Triple H.  Can you imagine the stir that would create?  Then, somehow, as it's revealed that Triple H is Stephanie's hubby, something will happen to show that the DNA test was wrong.  Just my guess ...

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